My Daily Battle...

My life is rather uncomplicated, 

Compared to many I know, 

And yet I’ve often contemplated,

The nature of my greatest woe, 

I’ve a burden of immeasurable density,   

In pertinence to a certain affliction, 

I was born with a terrible propensity,

For a daily unquenchable addiction...

“My name is Chris and I’m a Sleepoholic...”

I can hear myself saying it aloud, 

Admitting to peers in tones symbolic, 

Of the saving ability of a crowd, 

It’s not even that I sleep far too much- 

Indeed I seldom get enough, 

Rather it’s the unquenchable desire for such,

That makes my daily life tough, 

Waking up in the morning is a chore,

I’m not proud of my daily routine,

The alarm goes off yet I continue to snore,

My daily preparedness is rather obscene,

I think about sleep even while I’m awake,

Though I know this isn’t generally ideal,

A state of coherent mindset I have to fake, 

Until afternoon when my wakefulness is real,  

I know this poem isn’t truly relevant, 

Especially as I’m awake as I sit and write, 

Though I’m currently tired and ambivalent, 

I’m realizing this issue is trite... 

On Becoming A People Person...

As of late, I’ve found myself growing rather fond of spending time with people.

Now, I realize you’re most likely waiting for some profound or deeper meaning to the statement above, and I don’t blame you for it as it seems rather hollow to me now that I look back over what I’ve just written, but that’s it- I enjoy spending time with people... Lately. As in more so than in the past. It’s something I’ve grown to love more than I used to. Don’t get me wrong-I’ve always enjoyed people, and was only an isolated recluse for a relatively short period of my life, but I find that in the recent months I’ve enjoyed being social more than ever before.  

This probably seems incredibly jumbled, nonsensical, and at the very best, irrelevant, but I will do my best to explain the beauty of such a realization.  To lend some insight into my excitement, one must first realize that I am by nature an introvert.  Spending time with people tends to sap energy from me, and I require periods of solitude and alone time to recharge my mental batteries.   I also tend to think internally quite a bit, a characteristic that can sometimes get me in trouble, even to the point of reclusiveness, as I briefly touched on above.  That being said, I have always been social- I enjoy spending time with people, and being introverted has nothing to do with being social.  However, I’ve never had a social life to the degree that I do lately, and it’s surprising to see how many people I find myself interacting with on a daily basis.  

On a large campus with somewhere around 26,000 students, I am easily able to run into multiple people I know by name on a daily basis.  This has never happened to me before.... While I like to think that I have some degree of social charm, charisma, and increasingly good people skills, I don’t for a minute believe that my expanding social circles has much to do with me.  The people I’ve met in the past year and months has definitely been a God-thing, and my ever-increasing enjoyment of spending time with people and branching out has been because of Him as well.   I’m not entirely certain why or for what purpose yet, but I feel very strongly that God’s been placing certain people in my life for a reason.  I’m given more opportunities daily to share Christ’s love and encouragement with both fellow believers and non-believers, and a large part of that has to do with the fact that I’m not nearly as socially-awkward as I once was.  I don’t spend as much time with myself as I used to, and while I still require my alone time to recharge, I find myself spending more time with people than I do myself.  It’s been incredibly rewarding to realize the awesome people God’s placed in my life, and it’s also caused me to step back and reevaluate my purpose in relationships.  More than ever I desire to glorify Christ through my relationships, being intentional with those I meet, and sharing His love and joy with those around me.  Ultimately, the desire of my heart is that when people spend time with me, they are able to see Christ in me, as what He’s done and continues to do in my life outshines my own fleshly nature.  I strive daily to ensure that in my relationships, I’m not glorifying myself, but rather glorifying Christ, as He’s the sole purpose in my life. 

It’s not always easy to do this, and I fail often as my own ego and selfish motives tend to get in the way.  Even so, I’m continually reminded of the fact that my purpose is to glorify Him in my relationships, and He continues to transform my heart and desires to reflect that. A large part of the way He’s done this is that I find myself growing fonder of spending time with people. I love people in a way I’ve never loved them before because of how He loves me.   

I understand if you’re still confused or questioning the relevancy of this post, but I’ve been excited about people lately and I just thought I’d share... 

Already Made Righteous-The Unfathomable Beauty of Salvation

When I finally ceased rebuking my heart,
Nearly drowning in fathomless guilt,
My mind jilted and spirit tearing apart,
As I lay covered in layers of sinful silt...

Try as I might discipline was futile,
In taming my mind I accepted defeat,
My heart produced nothing worthwhile,
Frozen in a storm of continual sleet.

Salvation-this was not quite the trouble,
For I'd accepted such undeserved treasure,
Yet my human heart produced only rubble,
Incapable of righteousness of any measure.

In my inherent nature I had overlooked,
The full beauty of Your redeeming Salvation,
Though saved by grace I had still mistook,
The falsehood of self-sanctification.

The beautiful truth was that I was righteous in You,
From the moment you captured my heart,
My inability to rid myself of sin was beautifully true,
And from Your presence I am never apart,

I still struggle with sin but I'm free in Your grace,
You still love me the the same nonetheless.
Though I fail in my flesh I still seek Your face,
And daily You instill in me righteousness...

Happiness is Good. Joy is Better...

When life gives me the blues,

I sing a sad little song,

Filled with grays of varying hues,

Detailing all that’s wrong,

Then I open the blinds, 

I turn on the bedroom light, 

Banish thoughts unkind, 

Making light of my plight, 

I’ve reached the conclusion,

Though simple and concise,

That happiness is a delusion, 

And of far exorbitant price,

For Happiness is rather elusive, 

Intermittent and unreliable, 

And I fear this to be conclusive--

It’s an endeavor that’s not viable, 

So why spend energy on the fleeting?

Why waste my life in impending vain? 

I’d rather have substance and meaning,

Than this cycle of emotional strain,

And I find that I’m yearning for joy,

An everlasting state of delight,

Unbothered by circumstances devoid, 

Of happiness or that which is right, 

I know where there’s joy of great measure,, 

Though I’ve lately been distracted, 

By the shiny allure of worldly pleasure, 

Yet such ambitions are now retracted...

There’s joy rooted in the account of a despicable tree, 

Upon which a perfect man was brutally slain,

An unfathomable sacrificial gift, setting me free, 

From a death-sentence for crimes He disdains... 

Faking It To Factuality...

When the epiphany spontaneously materialized,

And you realized what you wished to become, 

Such moments are best when not solely idealized,

For that's not where success comes from, 

Indeed it's much better to fake it, 

Counterfeiting the final outcome you desire, 

For a time this may seem illegitimate, 

Yet after a while something strange will transpire, 

After you've faked and forged self-perception sufficiently, 

Changing your perspectives to fit the aspiration,

You'll begin to notice yourself becoming rather efficiently, 

What you sought after the initial inspiration, 

It's a rather simple principle in actuality,

Neither difficult nor necessitating guile, 

Act like what you wish to be till it's factuality, 

Even if you have to fake it for a while... 

Rituals of Running...

We all have idiosyncratic habits and tendencies we follow to the letter before embarking upon certain tasks or activities. Whether it be our morning routine, pre-workout motivation tactics, post-workout-coma-inducing-relaxation-techniques-involving-copious-amounts-of-ice-cream..., or exam-taking paranoia-resembling tactics guaranteed to snag good grades, we all have our personal habits and rituals. Sometimes such rituals are so engrained into our subconscious that we seldom realize we do them until pointed out by others, often in the form of a strange quizzical look and a question beginning with, “What on earth are you doing...?” Out of all the areas of life in which such habits apply, sports and athletic rituals may very well be the most peculiar and strange of them all. Because distance running is the only sport I’ve ever been competent enough in and passionate about to require rituals, I shall share some of my own rituals with you on this gray dismal day. Now, I should clarify that race day rituals vary greatly from my regular run-of-the-mill running rituals. Race day rituals are far more strict and crucial than a mid-week distance run, while regular run rituals are quite simple. Regular run rituals include the following: ONE-Change into proper running attire, generally consisting of running shorts, shoes, and a watch. TWO- Ensure I’m decently hydrated before embarking on my shocked-stare-inducing run as people wonder why on earth I’m out torturing myself like this... THREE-Run for a prolonged period of time. FOUR- Stop running, don’t sit down, and walk around for a bit exhausted and on the verge of passing out, in whichever direction(s) suit my fancy. FIVE- Inhale copious amounts of ice-cold water followed by a sports recovery drink such as chocolate milk. SIX- Shower. But only after I’m adequately cooled off and have stopped sweating profusely, allowing me to spend a relaxing ten to twenty minutes in a mildly warm shower. SEVEN- Don’t run for a minimum of three hours, pass out on the couch, eat dinner, put on a shirt and go on a date, or do anything else required of me other than running... Simple enough. My personal race day rituals, however, actually begin the day before a race. It is on the technically-labeled “Pre-Race Day Day” that I make sure to take an abnormally easy running day in the form of a light 4-6 mile jaunt,  a run whose sole purpose is for the loosening and stretching of my legs. Later in the evening, I shall eat a meal that is generally light on the stomach and certain to be thoroughly digested by early the next morning. The best pre-race-day-eve meals contain some carbohydrates as well as protein, and if at all possible do not consist of Mexican, Chinese, or really ethnically spicy foods of any kind, and is preferably pizza or light pasta. After this, I shall, if I can stand to subject myself to such pain and have water and ice available, take a short ice bath (For those of you wondering what this entails, the name describes it perfectly).  This particular procedure is not a necessity, and depends greatly upon the state of my muscles and the temperature outside... Later in the evening, after I’ve relaxed and stayed off of my legs for the majority of the night, I shall allot ten to fifteen minutes of light stretching before bed. It should be noted that this is generally the only time I truly attempt to stretch, as contrary to common belief, being a distance runner does not mean one is flexible... I then proceed to lay out my race attire, have everything neat and organized to go in the morning, and then sleep for as long as I’m allowed to. The next morning, I shall rise at an ungodly hour, shower-this may be strange but I always shower before races-and eat a light breakfast consisting of a bagel and peanut butter, water, and perhaps a little coffee. After breakfast, I shall attempt to empty by bowels if I’m able to, though this isn’t always successful, brush my teeth, stare at myself in the mirror looking as fierce and intimidating as possible while uttering personal motivational mantras, and then gather my race gear and hop in the car to drive or ride to the race. Upon arriving at the race site, I first make sure that I’m properly registered, pin my race number to my uniform or shirt, and then go for a 2-4 mile warmup run. After the warmup, I may do some light stretching, change socks and shoes, and then head to the starting line to race. Whilst awaiting the starting gun to fire off, I shall do several sprint-outs to limber up and get into optimal race mentality. Once the gun is fired, I proceed to race... Fast, hopefully. After the race, I go for cool down, change into flip-flops and comfortable post-race attire, drink some gatorade, and hopefully attend the awards ceremony to accept some form of medal.... And this, my friends, if you by any chance happen to still be reading at this point, concludes my running rituals... Pretty impressive routine I know. So, what are your rituals? (rhetorically speaking of course)

Potential.

Potential is the cliche'd "what-if" statement bestowed upon people who have yet to accomplish something worthwhile.  Though this may be somewhat of a harsh declaration, I say it because it's a word that's been used to describe me many a time.  And while I don't disagree with it, indeed I do see some form of potential in my talents and God-given gifts, potential means very little until it is actually put to use.  One can possess all of the potential in the world and still fail miserably to apply it to anything worthy of such a gift.  I've seen this time and time again, and indeed have yet to live up to my own full potential in many areas of life.  It's something I'm working on daily, to fully apply myself in all facets of life and use the talents God's given me to glorify Him and live life to the fullest.  Sure, we've all got potential of some form or fashion, there is simply no denying this.  But until we put our potential to good use, let's all stop telling each other about our inherent possibility for some desired form of success and wait until we've actually done something with it.  That is all. Just a little rant for a Monday afternoon....